Saturday, April 30, 2005
I thought we were in the clear. A year and a half in our new home and all is well. 10:15 this morning I heard a knock at the front door. At first I try to ignore it and go back to sleep. There's another knock. The sound of people knock on my door while I'm sleeping fuckin' annoys the hell outta me. So I get up to answer the door. I peer though the tiny gap in the tint on the front door. I see two guys in black suits, walking down the sfront walk. I figure I'd see what they wanted. Maybe it was something important. We've had the sheriff's department come by looking for people before, maybe I could re-inform them that no this person does not live here. That way they can send over a patrol car two days later to ask me the same thing. So I open the door. I should have known when I saw the two canes attached to his wrists. It didn't hit me until he turned, and I saw the black book in his other hand. Ah shit! It's the Witnesses! I bet it was that garden gnome looking fucker from work. I bet he called them and asked them to come and see his friend, real early in the morning. Fortunately, I have a secret weapon. I look like hell when I wake up. Hair twangin' all over, sleep lines on my face,unable to focus one eye, or even open the other one completely. There I stand just got the pants on, no shirt on, tattoos all over. Yeah, I really look like I want to convert and leave behind my wayward ways. Yeah right, thats gonna happen! The guy looked kinda uncomfortable when he was talking. He asked me if he woke me. No shit dumbass! No, actually I look Like this all the time! He then proceeded to tell me who he was and what he was doing. Yeah. I'm sure I looked real interested. He then said he would come by at some later time. Some later time when I'm more awake . Yeah, I'll be more awake alright. Awake enough to not open the door! I'm kind of curious as to what it is that tells people that it's a good idea to door to door trying to sell the idea of their faith and their god. It could have been worse I guess. It could have been Prince at my door! The artist currently known as nuts!greasemonkey1320 at 10:30 AM
Friday, April 29, 2005
JR brought the "T", so I'll bring the"A".Anyone got walnuts?
greasemonkey1320 at 5:17 AM
Your site has been BOOBED. This is a drive by boobin, remain calm. They wont hurt you if they get what they want. TO POKE YOU IN THE EYE.
greasemonkey1320 at 3:20 AM
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The man in black.Now this is some seriously rockin' hair!
greasemonkey1320 at 2:01 PM
One of my many belt buckles that JR has gotten for me.
greasemonkey1320 at 4:56 AM
Monday, April 25, 2005
This is what my truck would have looked like new from the factory.It's a long way from that,considering I haven't really worked on it in over a year and a half.
greasemonkey1320 at 1:07 PM
Here the engine is gone and I'm working on the frame.There is very little rust on the front half,due to the massive oil leaks which coated the frame with even more grease.
greasemonkey1320 at 1:04 PM
Here I'm starting to tear down the engine.It was covered in a 1/4" layer of oil and greasy dirt.I don't think there were any gaskets left in it.It would burn a quart or more of oil every week.Smoked like hell,but it was good for clearing out mosquitoes.
greasemonkey1320 at 1:00 PM
Here the front end in totally off.most of the bolts had to be cut off with a cut-off wheel.Things were gettin' messy at this point,which is where the cat littercomes in. It works great for soaking up aal the oil & degreaser that hits the floor.
greasemonkey1320 at 12:56 PM
Here's my truck when I first started to disassemble it. Lots of rust in the front sheet metal.
greasemonkey1320 at 12:51 PM
My 1963 F100
To continue my list...holes in the floor that showered unknowing passengers.#5 an automatic tranny that never liked to shift by itself. Ah this list could go on and on. The many joys of driving a forty-two year old truck.I'm planning on posting a few more photos as soon as I get this misdirected file thing figured out.Technology is indeed a pain in the ass sometimes.Must be where I get my fondness for carbuerators.greasemonkey1320 at 4:37 AM
I thought some of you out there might like to see some of my other vehicles/projects.This is my '63 F100 that I bought 6 years ago.Picked it up for $300.It was drivable when I got it, except for some missing odds and ends. Shit like functioning brakes,reverse,a battery,and the floor board under the drivers feet.Actually,that would kinda cancel out the no brakes thing, if you Flinstone it.It even came with extra parts,like a blown motor and a tranny outta some 80's P.O.S. After a couple weeks of scavenging and grafting parts on from other cars,it was finally drivable.Now take note that "drivable" does not mean "road worthy".I'll list a few of it's luxury options.#1 manual steering(Ol' Hoss would probly be familiar with this).#2 manual brakes.#3 wipers that stopped working ten minutes after it starts to rain.#4various holes in the floor
greasemonkey1320 at 4:36 AM
Sunday, April 24, 2005
This is a special cookie that was saved just for me. Unfortunately, it's not visible in this shot, but there are 3 little toe marks from where someone put their foot into the frosting.Jessica says it was the little hellion from the previous post. In his own defense he told me about how he was so filled with woe. Everyday when I get home from work he tells me of his daily suffering. How mommy wouldn't give him any people food and shooed him off the counter top. About how he has to eat worms. Woe is Wobbles. Woe indeed.
greasemonkey1320 at 1:04 AM
This is Wobbles, daddy's little man. Every day when I call home at lunch I hear about all the bad things my lil' man has been up too.He has apparently developed a taste for sweet cream butter, and fresh cookies too.he is quite fond of watching his mommy baking, from on top of the kitchen cabinets.
greasemonkey1320 at 12:50 AM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
The Fall Guy Continued
I found this photo today and figured I would post it to go along with the classy photos on Zombie's site.The truck is nice and big, but a little too shiny for my taste. I wish I had some '' after '' photos of this, cause you know there was some hellacious damage.greasemonkey1320 at 4:02 AM
Remember rule number 1!
greasemonkey1320 at 4:01 AM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Return of the bobble
Hello everyone! I am back after a short outbreak of pint-sized invaders and a couple broken parts. It was nice to have the nieces around for a couple days, even though they were chock full of booger cooties. Most of the time they can be easily convinced to terrorize someone other than me. A little eye shadow every now and again keeps them happy too. The younger of them now informs people that the rumors are true, I am indeed, made out of money. Of course, when you're 3, it's totally possible to buy the entire aisle of Hello Kitty with $2. It's nice though, they can all tell me what they want and they understand what people say to them. No diaper changin' either. Thats one thing I 've never had to do and don't plan on doing any time soon. I've heard the horror stories and do not wish to be taken down by a wayward stream of pee.The broken parts segment of the weekend really wasn't that long. 5 to 6 hours tops. Just a new dual exhuast system for the truck. I would have been a breeze if it weren't for that damn bolt that broke and took almost 2 hours to remove. This is the kind of shit where the labor part of the bill adds up. That one bolt chewed up 6 drill bits, two "easy out bolt extractors, and a pair of generic vise-grips. The toughest part on any old car usually end up being a 30 year old nut or bolt. Something easy to reach... with the tip of a finger ...if you're a contorsionist. Fortunatly all my knuckles and fingers were spared. My face on the other hand, must have caught every piece of rust and dirt that fell off the truck. Putting it all back together didn't take long at all. Except for the fact of the kit that they sent me was about 4 feet to long. Just a slight modification with the saws-all.
Now I have 2 shiny new glasspacks to defend my self against annoying teenagers and their plastic weed whacker drivin' asses. My truck sits up high enough that the exhuast tips are right at the same level of the windows of these lowered cars. The sound of the pipes reverberates nicely of the sides of cars I pass too. They got the bass that will rattle their trunk lids, I got the bass that will make'em gag. Kind of warms your heart ... with carbon monoxide.
It is written. I have spoken. So put this in your pipe and smoke it! Ooo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!
greasemonkey1320 at 5:17 AM
Monday, April 18, 2005
Answering Service
Im sorry, The Bobblehead is not here at the moment, you have reached his answering service. The Bobblehead has informed me that as he spent the whole weekend under attack and at the whim of several girls and installing a new muffer and some pipe thingie or another on his Monster Truck (i.e. his mistress) he was unable to attend to his Butt Log as he had planned. And as when he finally came in the house and got cleaned up last night, he had his brain suddenly sucked out of an unmentionable body part and temporarily lost control of his motor skills and ablity to walk. He is all better now. According to the Bobblehead he has plans for updating this evening, over a plate of Sloppy Joe Nachos and a glass of Kool Aid.Thank you for contacting the One Armed Man Headquarters, please call again, or if you would like, leave a message after the beep.
BEEEEEP
greasemonkey1320 at 5:15 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Hello Daddy, Im just keeping this chair warm for you. What smell? Pee? I dont smell any pee. Oh I smell like pee? No, I wasnt rolling in the litter box again, why would I do that. Kiss me and let me rub on your face.
greasemonkey1320 at 3:10 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Rule#1.
greasemonkey1320 at 3:50 AM